Chapter Nineteen:
Lexa had been keeping an eye on the moon, huddled under her
blanket on the steps of the deck when Erik returned from his run. By the time the clock chimed
He’d smelled her for miles on his way back to the house and knew she was out there waiting. It was only when he felt safe enough to be around her in human form did he choose to start back. She’d want to talk, that was a given, and it was also a given that neither of them would probably sleep, at least until sunrise when the moon was the least dangerous.
When he saw her sitting there, a small blanket around her shoulders and wearing a long satin nightgown, his heart leapt, although his body remained at an even keel. But it was not easy viewing her that way, seeing the moonlight shining in her hair, the timid, unsure smile she gave when he approached…
Lexa, my Lexa…
She didn’t offer her hand as he came to her, afraid of forcing him to flee again, but it was not necessary to keep her distance. He wanted the closeness, he needed it. Gently laying his head in her lap again, he gasped inside at the feel of her soft body warming his cold fur. He could hear her gasp as well, surely surprised by his sudden resurgence of intimacy.
“Oh God…” her heart almost burst at the sight of the panther, her panther laying there, looking into her eyes and nuzzling her hand with a slightly anxious grunt. She knew what he wanted, what he needed and she needed it too. She gently stroked behind his ear again, feeling the coarse hair and the accompanying vibrations that went through her as he started to purr. Their eyes stayed locked momentarily, but the feeling he provoked…soon, she found herself closing her eyes as he licked gently at the inside of her wrist. Such a wonderfully intimate gesture, she almost forgot he was an animal.
But truly, inside, he was a man.
“I’m glad they didn’t kill you, I cried for so long. It wasn’t their fault…they didn’t know any better….and it certainly wasn’t yours. I just hate that you suffered.”
Suffered…oh, Lexa…I
did suffer, because I had lost you.
“If only I’d known, if only you’d found a way to tell
A hand.
She leaned against the hand instinctively as a rough-padded thumb traced along her jawline. Her own hand now could no longer feel the sleek pelt of the panther, but the soft hair she’d touched earlier. The distinctive purr was now replaced by the deep groan of a man’s voice.
Her Erik had returned.
She went to open her eyes, ready to embrace him, to express her feelings, but suddenly, the hand halted its careful brush of her skin and gripped at her hair, turning her head away and shielding her eyes.
“No, Lexa.”
Her mouth opened in an inaudible expression of shock at his sudden, but harmless movement, “I just want to see you, Erik.”
“Do not open your eyes. Not like this, please. I am without a mask.”
She could see the mask lying near her, discarded and untouched the whole time he’d been gone. “I don’t care. I saw the panther’s healed, but it’s the man that’s bearing the scars of what they did to you. I’m prepared to see it.”
He knew she was right. Deep in his heart, he knew that he couldn't hide his face from her anymore than he could now hide his past, or his feelings. Without a word, he took her hand and placed it on the burned half of his face, letting her feel for herself just what the camper’s fear and wrath had done to him. She kept her eyes tightly closed, but let her fingers trace each line, each indentation. Hard, soft, smooth, rough…
“Open your eyes…”
Slowly, she did as he instructed. He was in full human form, yet still lying in her lap, the right side pressing against her legs while the left side, the burned side, was showered with moonlight. Yes, it was bad, but she never dared cry out. He’d been through hell, he’d endured for years the physical and mental pain that the scars brought and for that, she admired him with every ounce of her heart. He wasn’t horrific, he wasn’t monstrous, he was just Erik.
And he was shivering from the cold.
She immediately removed the blanket from her shoulders and threw it around him.
“You ran a long time, I wasn’t sure when you’d return.”
Again, he gently caressed her cheek, allowing his thumb to now trace her bottom lip, “But you knew I would return.”
“Yes. I knew you would.”
_________________________________________________
“You killed David while you were changed into the panther?” her eyes widened at his sudden, stark admission.
“Try and understand, Lexa,” Erik said as he took a cup of coffee from her that she’d brought from the kitchen. Katrine had been kind enough to make a second pot before she retired for the night and after being up and talking for over an hour, they needed every bit of it. “It is very hard for the panther side of me to control its most basic of instincts.”
“Which is to kill.”
“Yes. Run, stalk, kill, protect its mate.”
“And I’m your chosen mate, of course by accident.”
He shrugged, “It’s not that easy.”
“Well, you said when you pulled me from the river and you bit at me to wake me up and that’s when my blood and your saliva mingled and got this whole mess started.” She summed it all up in one long, breathless sentence as she resumed her position on Erik’s bed, leaning her head against the headboard and crossing her legs at the ankles.
Perhaps it was that easy.
Erik couldn't help but stare at her body as she lazily stretched out, the gown coming away from the thigh. She quickly replaced it, to his disappointment. “I had decided long ago that I would never find a mate, I did not want to subject someone to what my mother went though, what all the women had to go through.”
“Oh yeah, that your mother became a panther herself.”
“My father had not intended for it to happen. The sealing of the bond is a very…umm...intense experience and they were careful then. This particular time, they made love during the Killing Moon and she…well....” he shrugged and Lexa understood the meaning instantly. “She handled it and remained positive, but I knew she suffered. It is not a pleasant experience to shift.”
Lexa gave a nervous laugh at the understatement, “I saw it wasn’t.”
He smiled at her and when she returned it, he slowly rose to his feet and came over to the bed where she was laying. With a nod of encouragement from her, he laid down on the bed behind her, but kept his distance as he knew she would give him the unspoken affirmation to touch her when she was ready.
“She didn’t have to shift every day, did she?” Lexa kept her gaze toward the back door, watching the moon creep across the horizon.
“No, it came in waves, but was always hardest during The Killing Moon.”
“And she endured it, because she was your father’s mate and she loved him.” It wasn’t a question, but a precise statement. She sighed and found herself leaning back against his body, all too aware of his heat, thankful for the barriers of her gown and his robe. Only then did he put his arm around her. In an instant, they molded together, just as they should be.
“So does this help you to understand why you feel the way you feel?” he spoke against her as her hair gently tickled his chin.
She stroked his arm around her waist, “I think so, in basic terms. When a man…or panther….chooses a mate and takes her blood, then the next Killing Moon, the bond process begins, which is what I’ve been experiencing most of this month.”
He gave a quick nod and she continued, “Under normal circumstances, we would have sealed this bond, sexually, by now.” She stumbled over ‘sexually’, not meaning to, but with him so nearby, it just wasn’t easy to glaze over.
He felt her uneasiness and answered it with a stronger hold of his arm around her, “Yes, as you said, under normal circumstances.”
“But I left with my parents before that next Killing Moon and you lost me.”
“With such distance between us, the bond could never have the chance to start. See, it takes physical contact in human form to make the beginning connection. That didn’t happen until January, when I found you outside and brought you here.”
“But there was not a Killing Moon at that time.”
“No, this Killing Moon we are under happened the night before you left this past visit.”
Lexa slowly turned, keeping hold of his embrace, “And if I’d never come back?” she eyed him strongly. A tough question to ask and an even harder one for Erik to answer.
“If I had not brought you back here…once The Killing Moon was gone, the feelings you experienced would have subsided. Not left completely, but they would have been much easier for you to tolerate. At least until…”
“…the next Killing Moon?”
“Yes.”
“So, essentially, this wouldn’t ever end.”
He let his eyes flutter closed a moment as the impact of her words washed over him. Would it end? He was the first of his ancestors to go through not bonding with a mate. He simply had no real answer, only assumptions. “Eventually, perhaps. And with distance. If we were to lose physical contact, in time…like before…”
“Oh, I see.”
Lexa suddenly fell quiet. So, there was a chance this would all end if they just kept their distance from one another. No, that was not a welcome possibility. She was quickly getting used to feeling close to this man. She wanted to seal the bond, but it was just as apparent that he wanted to also, but wouldn’t. She felt there was another reason why other than just his fear of her taking his blood. After all, she’d wear a plastic grocery sack over her head to prevent it, if she had to. She didn’t exactly want to be a panther either.
“And you understand about the book, as well?” Erik stroked her cheek, anxious to break the tension that had grown around them.
“Uh…” his finger on her cheek did nothing for her power of speech.
Get with it, woman!
She forced herself to sit up in order to break the spell, “Uh, yes, with Katrine’s help translating. I understand about your great-great-grandfather, Alexandre Renault, and how he thought that by mixing the blood of a human and a panther he could cure some types of mental illnesses.”
“Ironic, considering he was mentally ill himself.”
“Yeah, I understood that from the accounts in the book. But what I find hard to fathom was just what it did to him to cause him to be this way.”
“It’s not terribly specific in the diary, but it’s been speculated in the family histories through the years that the mixture of the two types of blood apparently caused a specific gene to mutate, just one gene. But it was that one gene that broke down the evolution between man and animal.”
“And was it instant?”
“Yes and no. The change in him took affect under the next full moon. But, they were mistaken about it occurring every full moon. For one, full moon or not, he still had the urge to shift and two, the extreme feelings only came at certain full moons of the year. It wasn’t until many years later that the family histories were updated to include The Killing Moon.”
“And this diary itself was written and documented by his assistant, Jean Dumont.”
“Recorded for the sake of posterity, and for future generations to understand what was happening to them, I suppose. Unfortunately, Jean Dumont only recorded a small portion of Alexandre Renault’s life, the rest is a mystery. The family histories, in regards to him, were written only with hearsay.”
“Yes, it broke my heart, the last entry where Alexandre discovers he’d passed on the mutated gene to his newborn son. God, going from father to son…what a terrible legacy.” Lexa shook her head at him, “You realize how utterly nuts it all sounds. I mean its supernatural, it’s the stuff of fantasy.”
That, he did realize all too well. “And you must realize that if you had read all of this before you ever saw me shift, you would not have believed me. And you also must understand why I never wanted you to know to begin with.”
She laid back down next to him and curled up in his arms.
“And it is because you don’t want to subject me to the possibility of me becoming a panther that you don’t want to seal the bond?”
“Yes, why I cannot.” he nodded, then cursed himself a coward for concealing the remainder of the truth. What would she think of him if he told her he didn’t want her to bear his children? That by releasing her, he was giving her the chance to marry a normal man, have normal children and a normal life?
Would she accept it, when all he knew was that she wanted him, too?
With a long breath, he held her close to his chest, stroking her hair. Yes, it was insanity, but it was his life and he’d live another sixty years alone to keep her from suffering his fate.
___________________________________________________
“Monsieur!” Katrine’s anxious voice came along with the knock to the door, waking both Lexa and Erik up with a start.
The sun had risen, but just barely.
“What the…” Lexa groaned, wiping her eyes as she observed Erik lying behind her.
Still.
My God she remembered now, they’d fallen asleep next to one another. Did they end their talk or did they just drift off? She turned, looked down at him and whispered, “Good morning.”
“Good morning to you, my beautiful Lexa.”
How comfortingly intimate that answer was. And how painfully agonizing.
“I like waking up like this….” Although she was saddened by the reasons they could never be together, she liked the feeling of him holding her in his warm and comforting embrace. She could get used to it, and quick, which certainly did nothing to help her situation.
He stroked her cheek, “I do too…”
Another set of frantic knocks came. “Monsieur, it is important!”
She sighed very softly. Katrine was not going to go away. “I suppose you should…”
He nodded, then answered, “Come in.” rather impatiently.
Katrine burst into the room and to Lexa’s surprise, didn’t even flinch seeing them lying next to each other on the bed. Lexa was aware she was in her gown and he in his robe, but couldn't the girl at least do a double take?
“I am sorry to disturb you, but I was on my way to prepare breakfast when I heard Mademoiselle’s cell phone ringing from your office.”
“Wait, you told me my cell was dead, Katrine.” Lexa sat straight up.
Katrine shrugged, her face turning flush, “I…I must have been mistaken.”
Erik waved his hand, “Let it ring.”
“I have Monsieur, for a while now, but it just keeps ringing…it is ringing now.”
Lexa turned back to him, “Maybe I should get it. I’m sure it’s Tasha telling me about David. She probably found out about it last night and is trying to get me. The more I evade her, the more worried she’ll get.”
“Does she know your exact location?”
“No, but I don’t want to stall and sound suspicious.”
Erik scratched his chin. “Yes, go ahead and answer your call. Katrine, you know where the key is to my desk, unlock it and give her the cell phone.”
Lexa leapt up and ran after Katrine toward the office.
“By the way…” Katrine said as they headed down the long hallway, “…what does it mean to bring sexy back?”
“What?” she asked breathlessly.
“The man on your phone, he was saying he was bringing sexy back.”
Oh!
Lexa, feet still moving quickly, took to a sudden burst of laughter. “Oh, Katrine my friend, you need to get out more…”
Katrine pondered that thought and was about to ask what she’d meant, but they got to the office before she could. While Lexa waited, turning her back so she couldn't see the key’s hiding place, Katrine retrieved it for her.
“Here!” She tossed her the key, “Third drawer on the right side.”
Lexa unlocked the drawer and grabbed her cell as she heard Katrine shut the door on her way out. It was no longer ringing, but there were at least eight voice mails. She didn’t bother checking them, she just dialed Tasha’s home number.
One ring…
Two rings…
“Lexa!” Tasha practically screamed instead of a hello.
“Yeah, it’s me.” She flopped down at Erik’s large mahogany desk and swung around to put her feet up on it. The plush leather chair almost swallowed her whole.
“You found her?” Bobby’s voice could be heard in the background, but Tasha shushed him quickly. “Good God, woman! I’ve been calling and calling…you have to get home, something horrible’s happened.”
She’d entered the crossroads. Was she going to pretend she knew nothing about David’s death, work up tears, scream and cry? Or would she just go ahead and tell her the truth? She couldn't picture herself going into a fake burst of hysterics for anyone’s sake, especially to fool Tasha. Not only would she not want to betray the friendship, she just wasn’t very good at it. She’d see right through her, even over the damn phone.
“Lex… did you hear me? I said…” Tasha’s voice was getting louder and more panic stricken as time wore on.
“Tash, calm down. I know.”
Silence.
“Tash?”
“You know?”
“Yeah, I know about David. I…saw it here on the news yesterday.” No, that wasn’t a lie, not at all. She had seen the news on the television, hopefully that would be enough to satisfy her.
“Oh, God, I’d so dreaded having to tell you. We heard it on the car radio on our way back
from
“Yeah, I’m okay. You’re right, I’m just shocked right now. How is his mother? I know it’s still soon, but do you know about any funeral arrangements yet?”
“No, I don’t, I assume they’ve already arranged for an autopsy. Once that’s done, they’ll release him for burial. You can find out more when you come home. You will come home, right?”
“I will, as soon as you call me and let me know when the funeral is.”
“But, you need to come home now…” The sentence died to silence, then the familiar mumbling came, that same sound whenever Tasha would put her hand over the phone to keep Lexa from hearing. She was saying something to Bobby and he was responding rather loudly.
A shuffle, then, “Lex…”
She smiled when she heard Bobby’s voice, but her brow narrowed, noting it was not near as boisterous as it usually was. “Hey, Bobby.”
“Listen, Tash didn’t think it was important enough, but I do. The police, they want to talk to you.”
She gulped, almost losing her breath, “They do? Why?”
“They’re questioning everyone who might have seen David anytime near his time of death. They contacted us looking for you. Lexa…they even went to your apartment. A neighbor swears she saw a shadow in your window Sunday night, moving around. She said she went to the door and knocked, but no one answered.”
She gasped again, “A shadow?”
“Tash got your email telling her you were going back to that house in Rawdon, I printed it off for the police to prove you were there. They tried your cell but you didn’t answer. I suppose they still want to talk. I went to your place to see if perhaps anyone had been there or if anything had been disturbed, but it all seemed fine.”
“Jesus.” She sat straight up in the chair. Darren had failed to mention about anyone knocking on her door. Maybe he didn’t hear it. And why was the police so insistent about talking to her?
“What is it?” Bobby asked.
“Uh, nothing. I… guess I’ll be coming back after breakfast.” She couldn't believe what her own mouth had said, but she knew deep inside it was the right thing. She had to cooperate, this wasn’t the time to be avoiding the police.
“Good idea. Just get the mess cleared up before the funeral and all. Call us when you get home, okay?”
“Yeah, I’ll call.”
She slowly rose from the desk and held tight to her phone as she started for the door but stopped cold. She was so unsure how to tell Erik she was leaving. She knew he’d be upset. He’d argue that it wasn’t safe yet, that Darren still needed time. He’d fight, he’d plea. And she knew why. Because, even though she was well aware of his refusal to seal the bond, he would still ache without her. And as she leaned on the back of the arm chair to steady herself, the truth of her own feelings became clear as glass.
She would ache without him, too.
“You are leaving.”
Erik’s heartbroken, lifeless voice made her spin around quickly.
He stood in the doorway of his office, his robe now replaced by black slacks and a white shirt. He looked just like she’d feared and how she felt, almost despondent. My God, he’d been listening to her conversation, not with his ears, but inside her mind. She couldn't be angry, it saved her the agony of telling him herself, but her heart broke just the same.
“Yes. The police want to ask me questions. I know Darren wished for me to stay until everything was safe, but the more I say away, the more suspicious they’ll get…plus, there is the funeral to consider, and I’d like to speak to his mother, we got along rather well, I know she’s in some pain and….” She felt herself ramble again and was all too aware she was twirling a curl around her finger.
Erik kept his face stony and for the first time in the two days she’d been there, virtually unreadable.
Speak to me! She begged in her mind. Say anything, just don’t clam up…
But all she got in return was, “You are not going to return,
are you?” in that damned even, icy tone she hated.
That slapped her right in the face. It all boiled down to this. Everything that came back, from the first
memory she had there until this very moment.
Would she leave her home and isolate herself from her friends, her job,
and her family to live in the countryside with three people she’d only known
off and on for three months? Manage away from the city, virtually away from
civilization itself? She loved Rawdon,
she loved
But she also loved Erik.
“Do you want me to?” then held her breath for the answer. She would, God help her, she would probably do it if he asked. Live there with him in that large house, in the middle of nowhere, in a wonderful, but totally sexless relationship. All he had to do was say yes.
But his answer was quick and firm before he spun around and quickly left his office.
“No.”
Chapter Twenty:
“It really glows, huh? I don’t see it.” Tasha asked as she and Lexa stood out on the balcony of Lexa’s apartment just before dusk.
Still dressed in the skirt and top she’d worn to the funeral earlier that day sans her horribly fitting shoes, Lexa couldn't help but stare at it, noting that, although it was just barely visible over the horizon, the recognizable glow was still very evident.
At least to her.
Two days had passed since she returned from Rawdon. The last night of the full moon, of the Killing Moon, and she could feel it. Her emotions were much higher the past day or so than ever before. She could hear things far away, sharp and crisp. Her sight seemed clearer, so much so, she discovered she hadn’t even needed her reading glasses to see small text on the computer screen. Her smell, her taste…her touch…so sensitive that at times she thought she’d come right out of her skin. It set her nerves on edge.
Of course, dealing with the police didn’t help much.
She’d no sooner sat her bags down in her apartment than she
was confronted by at least ten phone messages from Michael Banks, a detective
with the
She remembered walking out with a smirk, silently thanking Darren, who’d arrived just before she left Rawdon and assured her he’d take care of everything. He sure did. She gave him credit for courage as well as swiftness.
She wished she could give herself that same courage, especially at the funeral.
What a liar she’d become. She hardly wanted to even think of the funeral and the display she had to put on for everyone’s sake. How she’d suffered through the hugs and tears from his mother, his family, his friends. How they’d all gone to the front of the church and said what a wonderful man he was-how thoughtful, funny, bright, considerate…honest.
The overuse of the word ‘honest’ had almost, just almost caused her to burst out laughing. That would have truly been a disaster. They would have felt sorry for her, thinking she was so grief stricken she didn’t know what she was doing. They would have probably escorted her out. They might have very well driven her to a mental hospital.
But that was this morning. Since then, she’d sat alone in her apartment, not bothering to change her clothes or answer the phone, not wanting to open the door until Tasha finally threatened to use Bobby for a battering ram to get inside. She opened it only because she knew she’d truly make good on the threat. She didn’t feel like spending the night in the emergency room as Bobby’s head was stitched and Tasha tried to explain to her fellow nurses what she’d done.
Instead, when she let them in, she told them the truth. And once she started, she found she couldn't stop.
“Yeah, it’s blueish green and really bright.” Lexa answered, pointing to the sky. “Brighter than it’s ever been.”
“I believe you, I just don’t see it.”
“You aren’t supposed to, Tash, you aren’t a…”
“Panther?” Tasha’s lip curled slightly at the end as she poked Lexa playfully in the arm.
“Panther’s mate, actually.”
Tasha shook her head and studied her friend closely. She felt she was educated and worldly, having traveled to three different countries and studied many subjects in school dealing with mythology and history. But nothing could have prepared her for the story that Lexa told her about the house in Rawdon and the man named Erik Renault.
A Killing Moon. A man who could change into a panther, the same panther that Lexa had seen as a child. She remembered the story from years ago, even being told to her by Lexa’s mother. And it’s this same panther that has taken Lexa for a mate and was really the one who’d killed David, not some angry bookies as the police had said.
While the story was certainly far fetched, what was most unusual to Tasha was that she believed her. Although her performance at the funeral was impressive to say the least, the woman wasn’t good at lying to her, that was a given. So, Tasha could assume that, if anything, Lexa believes in her heart everything she told her.
And in truth, she had noticed David’s odd behavior in the way he looked at Lexa, the way he always wanted to touch her, it was…almost creepy. Yet, she never in her wildest dreams thought David would…but, looking at Lexa’s bruises and scratches, it brought her to only one inescapable conclusion. David had tried to rape her.
“Lexa?” she asked.
Lexa never turned around, “Yeah?”
“What does it feel like?”
“What does what feel like?”
“To have a man so consumed by obsession and passion for you that he’d kill to protect you without a thought?”
That finally made her turn around. It was a strange question, strange but serious.
“Uh, I don’t know. Don’t you think Bobby would do the same thing?”
“Yes, he would protect me, but kill…I guess only if it was the only alternative. How do you feel about what Erik did?”
“I can’t say I condone what he did, but…oh, I’m still trying to sort out my feelings, really. I do know that…well, the fact that I merely had to call out to him in my mind and he came and saved me makes me…” she laughed at herself, “God, do you hear me? I sound like some sort of…”
“Helpless princess in a fairy tale?” Tasha laughed along with her.
Then Lexa stopped laughing.
“Lex?” Tasha carefully touched her arm.
“A fairy tale. Erik told me he didn’t do fairy tales.” Before she knew it, warm tears brimmed in her eyes.
“Admit it, you’re as much in love with him as he is with you.”
“I am. I know I am, but what good does it do me now?” she gripped Tasha’s hands, “It hurts so much to love someone, to feel someone that strong, so deep down inside, far past the conscious mind. It’s at soul level, Tash. I can feel him even now, as if he was here with me, yet when I try to speak to him, he shuts me off. I know he’s not being mean, he’s just protecting himself, but damnit, it hurts like hell.”
“But, Erik…didn’t he say that if you stayed away, there was a shot, a good shot, that you would get over this, this…”
“This overwhelming urge to bond, and yeah he did say that.” Her head hung low and she could see tears falling onto the metal rail of her balcony, then quickly drying.
“Well, doesn’t that make you happy? You said yourself you didn’t belong there.”
Lexa looked back up quickly, “I know what I said. I said a lot of shit over the past couple of days.”
“So, you want to go back?”
“More than anything.”
“But you said you couldn’t bond with him.”
“I did.” She let out a huff.
“And you didn’t know why, other than the risk of taking blood.”
“That’s what’s eating me up inside. It’s such a simple, uncomplicated answer. There are ways to prevent me taking his blood, if we were just careful. That couldn't be the sole reason.”
“Maybe he just doesn’t think he’s worthy of you, you did say he was burned bad on one half of his face…maybe it’s that.”
She let go of Tasha’s hands and began to pace around, “No… I didn’t feel that. I tell you, Tash, if I knew what it was, I might be able to accept it. What piece of the puzzle is missing?”
“There is only one thing you can do to find out, if he won’t tell you.”
She paused for a moment to give it serious thought. Katrine? No, it was like pulling teeth to get her to say the little bit she had while she was there. Darren, perhaps? Would he tell her anything at all or was his loyalty also too strong? “No, I couldn't call Darren…”
“What are you afraid of more, the answer or not knowing at all?”
She fell quiet again, but Tasha wasn’t about to give up. She didn’t know anything about Erik Renault, but she knew her best friend was suffering. If this Darren Ridgeway could end it, she had to push her own selfishness aside and get Lexa to see commonsense.
“Lex? Isn’t it worth a shot?”
But she didn’t have to say anymore. Lexa walked quietly into the house and right to the phone.
_______________________________________________
Darren was at his desk at home, nursing a nice hot cup of
tea, when his cell rang. It’s the first
time he’d gone home before
At least since Lexa Gordon had entered his employer’s life.
Now, Erik was already back to his routine, or was trying to. Darren could see it would take much longer than a couple of days to put himself back together. He’d arrived just in time to see Lexa leaving the driveway again and after she told him about the phone call, he knew Erik would be in the foulest of moods. He was. Erik tried to convince himself it was for the best, that he was doing the right thing, but he certainly wasn’t happy about it. And honestly, Darren wasn’t faring much better.
So, needless to say, when he answered the call and heard her voice, he was surprised.
“Lexa…I, uh…” he coughed and tried to form something intelligible.
“I really apologize for calling you like this, I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”
“No, you are never an interruption, I had just sat down at my desk and I did not expect your call.”
Lexa sucked in an encouraging breath as Tasha held her hand for support, mouthing ‘you can do it’ and smiling. “Darren, I really need your help.”
Oh no, the police again. He’d already had Andres Ravelle make a call to Detective Banks two days ago to tell him that Lexa was not a suspect and her record was clean. He was sure the deep-voiced man had put the fear of God in him enough to leave her alone.
“Has the detective been calling you again?”
“Oh no…not since…well…” she laughed softly. “Thank you for that. That detective turned white as a sheet when Officer Ravelle called.”
“That is good to know. If it is not that, then what can I help you with?” he was calm enough now to take a sip of tea.
“I want you to tell me why Erik doesn’t want to seal the bond with me.” She blurted out.
Silence. Not a good time to sip tea, he almost choked on it.
“He told me it was because of the risk of me taking his blood, but I felt it was more than that and I know you…at least, I think you know.”
More silence.
“Darren, please.”
Another moment of pure irritating stillness. She knew he hadn’t hung up on her, she could hear him breathing.
“Lexa, you know I cannot betray Monsieur’s confidence like this…”
“There is more to it! I knew it!”
“Lexa, you are asking me to choose between you and Monsieur.”
“No, I swear I’m not asking you to choose between us, that would be ridiculous, I’m merely asking for you to help me understand the rest of this secret. I can’t force Erik to seal this bond, but by knowing why, I might be able to accept it, at least in time.”
Another hush. God, she hated it.
“Please, this is the last night of this total full moon, I can see it beginning to turn. If I can get through this night and the Killing Moon ends, Erik believes it will be easier. Just help me get through it. I’ll get on my knees and beg…”
Darren’s resolve dropped faster than his head on his hand. She had a point. This lady was no fool; she’d seen through Erik and knew he was still hiding something. Erik had told him the reason he’d kept it from her and although Darren had told him he understood, he certainly didn’t agree with it. He was growing as weary of it as she was.
Forgive me, Monsieur…but
it is time to come out of hiding…
“He does not want to seal the bond because…”
She listened closely, “Because.”
“Because he refuses to continue the bloodline.” He kept it short and to the point, ready to field the questions, and hear the disappointment in her voice.
“The bloodline? Are you saying that he doesn’t want to have children?”
Tasha’s eyes widened, then she shrugged, “What?”
Darren nodded, “Yes, that is what I am saying.”
“That’s it? That’s the whole sordid story?”
Darren raised an eyebrow, “Is that not enough?”
“Well, yes, but…this is 2007, there is such a thing as birth control…pills..condoms…”
“It is not that simple. From what I understand, the changes in the woman’s body, it automatically releases an egg. Her hormones, you see, the pills would essentially become void. And with condoms…well…as Monsieur told you, the sealing of the bond was rather…”
“Dear God, you mean that it would just rip a condom to shreds?”
Darren laughed, but it was pretty close to the truth, at least according to what Erik had said his father had told him. “A condom did not prevent Erik’s conception the night of their parent’s bonding.”
“Oh.”
“Do you understand now?”
“So he doesn’t want me to get pregnant to prevent passing on the gene.”
“Yes.” Darren let out a breath, a full release of pressure. It was all out now and he didn’t realize just how much tension it had been until that moment.
“But if I got pregnant, it could be a girl.” Her voice was almost playful as she shrugged, looking at Tasha, who was gesturing at her almost frantically to tell Darren everything.
“No, the first born of all the panthers has been a son. It is well documented in the family histories book.”
Lexa sat back and smiled. So, that was the big disaster? While, anyone else in her situation would truly be concerned, she obviously wasn’t.
“Uh, Darren?”
“Yes, Lexa.”
“What if the woman had a hysterectomy? I mean, how could she carry a child if she has no uterus?”
That threw Darren for a loop. “Well, I am sure it couldn't happen, although no one in his family has ever encountered that…”
“…until now.” She finished.
She sat and waited while he figured it out…and waited…
Then…
“Lexa! Are you telling me you…”
She let out a most relieved laugh, “Yes. God help me, I never thought I’d be more happy that I’d had a hysterectomy than right at this moment.”
“But when?”
“A few years ago, history of cancer, endometriosis. Its funny, that’s the reason David dumped me to begin with, was because I couldn't give him kids. Now, not having kids could be the best thing for me. I mean for me and Erik. If I hadn’t called you, if you hadn’t told me…”
Darren’s laugh on the other end of the phone was heartening, “Then there is only one question, why are you not in your car?”
“Oh!”
“Shall I call and tell Monsieur to expect you?”
“No!” she almost shrieked as she flew off the couch while grabbing Tasha’s hand and headed down the hall to her bedroom, “He’ll know I’m coming.”
Chapter Twenty-one:
“Just survive this last night…” Erik told himself as he stood looking up at the moon after his run. “Get through this night and it will all be better.”
But he didn’t believe it.
He was alone. For the first time in months, he was truly alone in the house after he’d finally convinced Katrine to leave with Darren and stay the night with some of her friends in Terrebonne. She’d really been through a lot, he told her. She needed time to herself. Time to be with people her own age, to live a little. She’d argued he still needed her and he had to have Darren remove her practically kicking and screaming, but he could see in her eyes she did actually welcome the chance to spend time away. It was rare that she did these days. And he needed the solitude of an empty house.
It matched his empty heart.
He walked back inside the doors of his bedroom from the deck
and threw on a pair of black pants and his black velvet robe. Yes, solitude. But to do what? Work? Yes, there was work to be done,
he was embarrassingly behind on supervising plans. But that’s not what he
wanted. A book? No, he couldn't concentrate on reading. He knew what he needed, who he wanted. But she was in
Maybe.
Why had he done it? Why had he been so adamant about not having her know she couldn't bear his children? His only answer was what he’d seen as a child. He wanted children, but he wanted children who would never have to go through what he did. He wanted a son who could live among the world with others and never had to worry about the things that he and the athapanteras before him did, like controlling the urge to shift when emotions ran high or adrenaline raced. Things like finding a place to live that had enough access to hidden, isolated, wooded areas so that a shift or run wouldn’t be seen by anyone else. Things like…not having to worry about bonding, killing moons, taking blood…
No, he was doing the right thing, he knew he was. Lexa, sweet Lexa. If she knew, he was sure she’d say it didn’t matter, that she’d gladly bear his child, but no. He knew what his mother went through. She’d gladly bore Erik and loved him as much as a mother could love a son and it was that deep love that caused her heart to break every time she saw him shift, especially as a young child. The pain, the confusion. His early years were turbulent as he had to learn to sort out and control his emotions, fight the urge to shift at the least little provocation.
He couldn't let Lexa suffer that, suffer that mother’s agony, the regret and sadness.
Adoption. Yes, Lexa would surely bring that up. Solve all of their problems, he could hear
her say. Adoption was a viable option
that had crossed his mind more than once, but it always went back to the
original and probably most important reason he sent her away. He refused to tie her down to a panther. This was a modern age, divorce so readily
available, much more so than in his parents’ time in
He knew Darren and Katrine didn’t understand any more than Lexa did. But he’d show them, show them that, in time, the bond would slowly fade and he’d get over her. Slowly forget that Lexa Gordon ever existed….
…but then again, who the hell was he fooling?
___________________________________________________
Lexa could only see so far ahead of her as the mist rose in front of the car. She tried to drive carefully along the two lane roads of Rawdon, but quite frankly, she didn’t care about safety just as long as she reached Erik. Her body had almost taken over her conscious mind now, screaming to go faster and faster, screaming that he awaited her, that he needed her, wanted her.
Just as much as she wanted him.
“Come on…” she banged on the steering wheel as she swerved into the oncoming lane, passing one car after another. Her hazard lights blaring a warning in the night that no one had better try to stop her, that she wouldn’t be stopped. Closer and closer to the turn that would take her to the small, dirt road.
Then, as she finally hit the darkened woods, her body tensed. She knew it as if she had gone there a thousand times before. Just two miles to go now. Two short miles of twists, turns, dodging rocks and small animals going up and up above the valley and the waterfall to the large home on the hill. Now, the dilemma came. Would she let her mind go, let Erik sense her impending arrival or just show up on his doorstep? She’d told Darren she’d let him know ahead of time, but her will was beginning to wane. She knew Erik would try and make her turn around and go back; he might not even let her in the driveway. She could see him standing there, trying to block her car. But she couldn't help but let out a small, lighthearted laugh. She’d probably run him over, but at least if he was under her car wheel, he couldn't make her go home. And, to her benefit, it would hold him there while she had her way with him. That brought another smile and with it, a wonderful sense of anticipation.
But in her open ended thoughts, her mind slipped.
Erik had just brought a book from the library back to read in his room when he felt it.
Lexa. She was near, very near. His body immediately tensed, his muscles so taut he was sure they’d snap any second. What was she doing?
Lexa…
He reluctantly opened his mind to hers and the impact was so strong it made him dizzy and in turn, when Lexa felt Erik enter her mind, she almost lost control of the wheel.
She cried out, not realizing just how much emotion he’d been controlling, keeping from her. Why, the effort to control such emotions must have been close to maddening, she surmised.
Oh, Erik…
What are you doing? Where are you? He asked her.
Ahh… she summoned the strength to speak.
Her mind could sort out the sensations later.
About a mile or so from you now…I
suggest you unlock your door…
This is madness…you
cannot be serious.
Very
serious, Erik. Be ready for me or I’ll just have to drive
the car through the sitting room window…
What was she thinking?
He willed his body to release enough tension so he could pace and think
of a way to convince her to go back. No,
Lexa, stay away, I told you not to return.
She smirked, at this
point Erik, I don’t give a shit what you’ve told me. I feel you as you feel me, you want me to be
there and I’m on my way.
He paced even harder now around the bedroom like a caged animal. Like a caged panther. She wasn’t going to go away this time, he could sense her strong will and determination. She’d succumbed to The Killing Moon. God help her…God help him. There was no way he’d be able to fight it, not on this night. He knew was no longer strong enough.
I beg you, Lexa, turn
around and go home.
Then he heard the car pull up in the driveway, saw the dimly lit bedroom turn white under the bright headlights being carried by the dense fog.
I am home, Erik.
He stopped moving. He was sure at that point he’d stopped breathing as well. He could hear her pound on the front door. No time for formality in her approach, the sound was frantic, causing his ears splitting pain. Yet, he didn’t move to unlock it. He couldn't move, every bone in his body hurt and he was sure if he did move, they’d shatter under the impact.
Go away…
The pounding stopped, but he knew she hadn’t left. An exhausting few breaths as he waited for her next move, then…the library door. Thankfully locked as well. He could hear her kick at it, trying to break the strong, double paned glass.
Let me in, Erik!
No!
He remained frozen. Surely, she’d have to give up sometime, he tried to convince himself, but it was futile. She was determined to get to him one way or another, but not even Lexa could break down his heavy doors. Thankfully, they were all locked except…
…his bedroom door.
“No!” he cried out, summoning the sudden courage to make a run for the door to throw the lock.
Let her in…she is yours. The beast inside whispered tauntingly.
No, lock the door,
lock it now! His logical mind screamed in response.
But it was too late.
The glass pane cracked as Lexa kicked the door wide open. The sight of her standing there wearing a black blouse and skirt, the moonlight behind her…panting softly, hair tussled from her short, but intense tirade. It was too much for him to handle.
For a several moments, they did nothing but stare at one another, neither believing just how incredible it felt to be so close to the other. It was as if a heavy, dark veil of depressing anxiety had suddenly been lifted from both of their minds. A relief so amazing that they both could have cried out.
If they weren’t so damn scared.
But it was Erik who finally broke the silence.
“You cannot be here, Lexa. You have to go.”
But leaving was not in her vocabulary.
Before Erik could utter another sound, she was in front of him, her body pressed against his, her arms wrapped around his neck.
He growled at her, he tried to remove her arms from around him, to push her away, but it was no use.
“Stop fighting Erik, I know you want me as I want you. Please…seal the bond and end our suffering.”
“Do you not see, Lexa?” he practically screamed at her, “Your suffering would only begin!”
“I know the whole truth now, I can feel it coming from you, hear it as if you’re speaking the words. You don’t want to obligate me, to force me to spend my life with a panther, but I don’t care. I’m here of my own free will, Erik and I’m not leaving! I also know you don’t want me to get pregnant. Oh God!” she practically shook him, “I understand why, I can’t blame you for not wanting to pass this on, but there’s something you have to know…”
He turned away, not caring how she found out the truth, not wanting to hear her words. Her sweet, passion filled voice pained him, made his body ache desperately. His erection strained against his dark pants and was being rubbed unmercifully against her lower stomach. That part of his body screamed for ultimate release, to seal the bond, to forget everything he’d told himself, all the logic that had tried to keep her away.
“Look at me…” she practically cried, keeping a tight hold around his neck, fighting his efforts to break free.
“I cannot…”
“I have to tell you….”
His head snapped back to her. “Bloody hell! Lexa, there is nothing you can say or do that can convince me this is best for you! You belong in the city! You deserve to marry a man who can give you normalcy, a life, children…children I will not give you!”
She gripped his hair, holding him down to her face, “Erik, I can’t have children! I’ve had a hysterectomy!”
He stopped cold, “A what?”
She nodded, “Yes, I had a hysterectomy when I was twenty-four. I don’t have a uterus. And if I don’t have a uterus, I can’t carry your child or anyone else’s. So, no matter what happens, whether I release an egg or not, conception can’t happen! Don’t you see?”
“Why didn’t you say anything before now?” he stammered over his words, not believing it. “You had told many things to Katrine, but this…”
“I know, I wanted to confide in her, but when it came time, it was too painful. It was the reason that David had dumped me. He said some awful things to me that night about it, made me feel….well, less than womanly. It took a long time to get over the pain and humiliation of it. I just didn’t want to talk about it after that, with anyone.”
My God! Could it be so simple and he couldn't sense it? “But hormones…I felt…I feel…”
“Yes, I take a natural hormone replacement, although I have one working ovary, albeit it’s not very functional right now. Perhaps what you sense in me is a combination of the two.” She threaded her fingers through his hair knowing she would not be able to contain herself any longer.
Elation was not even close to what he felt, it was too good to be true. “But, even still…I could not ask you to…” he closed his eyes shut hard, panting, fighting to control the desire that was rising to an almost insurmountable range.
“Live here with you?
Be your mate, your wife? Leave
His hands gripped her shoulders, his eyes turning dark, “Yes, bloody hell, yes! I do not want you to give up your normal life. I cannot move back to the city, I want to stay here. How could I possibly bond you to me, knowing what I have to go through, knowing there is a chance that could be your fate as well? Live every day waiting for the regret and the day when you say you can take no more and leave me alone again. I cannot take that, Lexa, I cannot even live with the possibility!”
Her response to his short but intense rant was a kiss. It was not just any kiss, it was a kiss that could very well had stopped both of their hearts as well as any reservation in Erik’s mind as to her willingness to seal the bond. With a final short whimper coming from his throat, he gave in and let the panther inside him take over. His hands slid down her arms and wrapped tight around her body, feeling the sleek fabric of her dark skirt and top. He gripped desperately at the material, trying to push past it and feel even more skin. Oh, if he felt her hot skin under his hands another second, he would…
“Yes!” Lexa practically burst into tears when his hands ran under her top, caressing her back. “Erik please…the wait is agonizing…take me!”
His father had told him that a few simple words of sublimation from his mother had sent him into a frenzy, yet Erik couldn't fathom just how true his words had been until that moment when he heard Lexa beg for him to take her. His vision grew dim, seeing only her. His mind swirled with intense emotions and before he could put another logical thought there, he turned her away from him and shoved her forward, face down across the bed. Keeping one hand on the middle of her back, he steadied himself and stared at her, licking his lips like an animal savoring a kill.
That’s exactly what he’d devolved into in those last few seconds. Pure animal. But she was no kill, she was going to be his mate. Finally.
He slowly, methodically raised her skirt, bunching it around her hip, caressing the skin of her thigh, gliding over her satin covered backside. He watched in awe as she writhed under his soft touch, watched her raise her hips, grip at the bedcovers. Listened to her tattered breaths each time his hand met her flesh.
He leaned over her, pressing his body to hers, his hard erection gliding alone the seam of her backside, caressing him, “There is no going back, Lexa. I can’t stop. I won’t stop…” he growled in her ear as he reached for the zipper of his pants to finally free himself.
Lexa shuddered at the sound of both his voice groaning under the strain of his desire and his words, her senses heightened close to expediential levels. His voice was almost vicious against her ear, yet loving and strangely possessive at the same time. She was frightened, yet elated, nervous, but excited. She didn’t know what was to come, but she welcomed it, welcomed anything that would give them both release.
His hands yearned to touch her, wanting to take the time to feel her curves, her soft skin, but the beast inside demanded the inevitable. In one fluid motion, he ripped her panties from her body so swiftly, she cried out, but not from pain, only from the true sense of just how much he wanted her. What a delicious sensation! There she was, face down on his bed, her naked lower half there for the taking. Normally, she would find this disconcerting, not being able to do anything but lay helpless, a total loss of control, but at this point, she knew this was all she could do. Erik had to take the lead. And that alone was more than enough to make her body ache and her center to swell.
Her smell surrounded him and he pressed the tip of his hard erection against her opening as he gripped her wrists, pressing them into the bed.
“Lexa…forgive me…” he could barely form the words to express how he would regret his actions.
But she knew.
“I know…” she panted, trying to meet his gaze, but he kept his face buried in her neck.
There was nothing gentle or loving in the way he entered her. They both practically screamed from the impact and Lexa could feel hot tears slide down her cheeks, yet she wasn’t weeping. The sensation of him entering her was nothing she had ever felt before, not with David, not with anyone. It felt odd, it felt unearthly, but it felt right.
Erik could only growl, his words lost in oblivion as he moved inside her, his mind not focused on anything but satisfying his most primal urge to mate. He knew, deep down inside, she had to be uncomfortable, probably in pain, but he couldn't stop, couldn't slow down. The panther would be satisfied now; the man would make it up to her later.
“Woman…” he muttered as he nuzzled part of her shirt away and bit into the skin of her shoulder, his relentlessly hard thrusts almost shoving her across the bed.
The shockwaves of such a hard pounding made Lexa’s body hurt from head to toe, her labia, her vagina being punished ruthlessly. She could feel her insides still trying to stretch and accommodate his size, his unrelenting movements, yet strangely, it was what she wanted. In fact, she knew she could take even more and to her shock, she found herself pushing back against him, inaudibly signaling just that.
And when he responded with even harder thrusts against her already strained hips, she cried out even louder. Then she saw his hand holding her wrist down and a new, irresistible feeling flowed over her body like water.
Intense and overwhelming hunger.
Oh God! In one amazing moment of epiphany, she understood just what his mother had gone through. The urge to bite into his skin, right into that long vein on the side of his wrist…to take his blood into her mouth…it could have been a huge hunk of chocolate fudge and she wouldn’t have wanted to consume it more.
“I want your blood!” she found herself screaming, trying to look away, but with both hands on either side of her head, it was almost impossible.
Erik gasped in surprise, “No…” he panted against her. “Fight it…do not…take it…”
She shoved his hands away with a growl of her own and he gripped her hips instead; she felt a huge sense of relief, although the urge to take his blood was not completely gone. At least now, there was nothing near her mouth.
“Erik…keep your distance…” she gripped at the bedspread, twisting it in her fists.
“I know, I know.” Erik could feel his body shake, his attack on her body not slowing. He needed release and fast, he couldn't wait on her, he knew she would be unable to orgasm at this point. That, he told himself, would be remedied later.
“Don’t hold back, let it go…” she whimpered, feeling his momentary reluctance.
Momentary indeed. His cry of total release was loud and deep, a roar that shook the windows and made Lexa cry from the impact of it. It was pained, it was regretful, yet it was also extraordinary.
Exhausted, Erik collapsed over her, gathering her up in his arms, both of them trying with all their might to recover their steady breathing.
It was exactly what his father had said it would be like, yet it was nothing like he’d expected. The bond was sealed, their minds merged as one. The feeling of completion was indescribable. But he’d harmed her in the process, he could immediately sense her pain.
“Lexa…my beautiful Lexa…forgive me…I know I hurt you.” he said over and over against her hair.
“I’m…I’m okay…” she tried to reassure him, but she felt as if her body had been battered beyond repair. It hurt, yet it didn’t. She was sure she’d never be able to explain the feelings going through her mind to Erik, or anyone else for that matter. She could hardly understand them herself.
But Erik already knew.
“I feel…” Erik sighed.
“Whole. Fulfilled.” She sighed.
“Yes, all of the above.” He gently pulled out from her and lay down on the bed, carefully helping her to lie in front of him. Neither spoke another word verbally, but their minds spoke volumes. Talk of love and commitment as they melted together in an all consuming embrace. He knew from what his father had told him, they’d both need sleep, deep sleep to let their bodies adjust to the bond. But he also knew it wouldn’t be long before his desire to have his mate again would resurface and this time, she would have her ultimate pleasure.
Chapter Twenty-two:
Lexa woke to warmth, overwhelming, comforting warmth. She blinked several times, but could see nothing except the faint remains of moonlight that occasionally peeked through the broken door, making a small pattern on the floor. She could feel nothing but acceptance and unconditional love.
She used to hate the dark, but not anymore.
Unlike her first moment of awareness in the house on the hill that January morning, she knew now she certainly wasn’t dead. She was finally alive, awakened and renewed.
And lying in Erik’s bed, half naked.
She wiggled her hips just slightly, then felt movement behind her, felt something around her waist.
It was a man’s arm.
But not just any man. It was the man she’d fallen in love with, the man that, just a short time ago, she’d given herself to, mind, body and soul. The man who she knew loved her beyond all reason, no reservations.
And his body stirred behind her, again. She could feel him growing, throbbing in small, inviting little taps against her lower back. She could hear him giving her a soft moan in her ear as he woke from his own sound sleep. Smell his musky scent and it overwhelmed her to the point she could very well faint.
But if she fainted, she would surely miss what was about to come.
“Umm…it appears my body has rested.” Erik whispered in her ear, his voice slightly dry-hoarse and sleepy. The air blew across her skin and she shuddered visibly.
“Yes, I can feel that.”
His hand caressed her hip, gliding slowly down her thigh, “And can you feel that?”
Her eyes shut again, a short breath leaving her lips. How could he, with just one small touch, send her soaring to the skies?
“Oh my…yes…your hands are incredible.”
“Every part of you is incredible, woman.” He growled again as he leaned over her slightly to light the candle on the nightstand.
The soft candlelight lit up the room perfectly in that all too familiar orange glow. So warm, so inviting, romantic, deeply sensual. Perfect for being made love by, she silently surmised.
“Didn’t want to stay in the dark?” she giggled, peeking over at the clock that sat nearby.
“No, believe me…” he rolled her over onto her back before caressing her cheek, “I want to see your body under me, see your face as I pleasure you beyond anything you’ve ever felt before.”
She fell silent. How could she possibly respond to that?
Thankfully, she didn’t have to. His lips captured hers and robbed her of the obligation.
Her arms wrapped around his neck as they both kicked away the cumbersome bed coverings, immediately deepening the kiss. Her lips parted gratefully to take every bit of what he offered. Their tongues glided along each other’s, tasting and gently sucking. They relished in the taste, the sights, the smells, the sheer feelings that rose with each breath they took.
Erik’s body was already betraying him and he fought to keep from once again giving in to the true animal urge to take her, hard and fast, unforgiving and unrelenting. No, not this time. She needed to know the true lover, the true giver of pleasure he could be. She deserved nothing less.
His lips pulled away from hers as he felt her hands reach for the mask and for a moment, his body froze.
But his trepidation was only met with a smile. “Surely, you can’t think I’d be repulsed by your face now, after all that’s happened?”
Damn logic.
“No, I guess not, it is just something I am not used to.”
Carefully, she removed his mask, discarding it to the floor with a playful flourish. “Well, get used to it. Besides, it was bumping my nose when we kissed.”
He couldn't help but laugh lightheartedly. That woman of his, his new mate. Honest, upfront, bold and insanely beautiful.
“Well, then, I am glad you remedied the situation.”
She pulled him to her again and when their lips met, her hands roamed his body with total abandon. Her legs slide up and down his pants covered lower half, wishing she had the skill to remove them with her feet, her toes, her very mind. Her hands glided across his chest, his shoulders, feeling the warmth of his skin, causing her to give a very tiny whimper against his lips.
“Oh yes, Lexa…I love hearing you like this.” He whispered as his lips began to trace along her jawline to her ear, his breath barely dancing across her skin, causing it to tingle and go gooseflesh.
She hissed and raked her nails across his sides and he groaned, arching his back, which forced his lower half to collide with hers even harder.
“Careful, my love…” he whispered. “Do not draw blood, if you smell it, you will want to…”
She gave a very soft laugh, “Darn…and I wanted to scar you up good…”
“Oh my little hellcat…”
In one fluid motion, he held her tight as he turned over and laid on his back. She sat up with an excited gasp, straddled his waist and looked down at him, her hair falling into her face. What a vision! He cupped her full cheeks and carefully pushed her hair away, not wanting anything but to memorize this moment, lock it away in his mind, but his body… and her body…had other ideas.
She began rubbing her hips against his; the friction of her naked, wet folds against his pants was almost too much for her to bear.
And he wasn’t doing much better.
He gripped her hips to stop her, then turned her over onto her back again. At least on top of her, he could keep control over the both of them. That is, if they wanted to.
Her hands went for the buckle of his pants as her lips found his neck, gently sucking the skin. She freed him and carefully let her hand explore his hardness, carefully stroking up and down in a long, fluid movement. The contrast of soft and hard mingled with the intense heat made her gasp against him.
Erik hissed sharply, gripping her wrist, not sure whether or not he wanted to pull her curious hand away or keep it there. Both options were rather hazardous. His tongue tasted, glided down her throat as his other hand pulled at her top, raising it over her head. There, her hand finally left his hard erection, thinking she would merely return after relieving herself of her blouse, but it was not to be. Pressing the shirt and both of her wrists above her head, he kicked out of his pants and allowed, for the first time, both of their fully naked bodies to lie against each other. Their foreheads rested together, their lips barely touching, their breathing in total sync.
“You have no idea how hard it is to keep from just taking you…” he whispered against her lips.
She licked her lips, then nibbled her bottom lip teasingly, “Why don’t you?” she asked as she parted her legs, allowing him to settle between them. A perfect fit, in every way.
“Woman…you are dangerous, but I will not be so easily swayed. I am going to make sure you have so much pleasure, you will beg me to stop.”
“Sounds like a challenge to
He moaned, his own tongue reaching out to meet hers. “Perhaps. But I am sure to be the victor in this little game.”
She wiggled her hips, and his erection slid in between her swollen folds. She panted against him as he began moving himself up and down in torturously slow movements, coating himself in her wetness.
“Then…” she panted, arching against him, “by all means...after all, I don’t think either of us will lose.”
With a sharp thrust against her again, he gave her wrists a push, signaling for her not to move. She nodded as he wrapped his arms around her waist, forcing her body upward to his awaiting mouth. There, he licked slowly from her ribcage up to trace along the lower part of her breast, watching in fascination as her nipple tightened even more. He took it slowly into his mouth, sucking, pulling at it, then licking it and finally blowing a soft puff of air across it.
Lexa felt wonderfully helpless as she twisted the shirt in her hands, inhaling sharply and arching her back, pushing herself more and more into his mouth. His tongue ran along her breastbone to give the same attention to her other nipple and when she cried out, he knew he’d found the more sensitive of the two. He made note to explore that more extensively later.
His mind was on other parts of her soft body, mainly what lied between her legs, the part of her that demanded the most intense attention. Her pheromone was beyond that of normal comprehension now, both of their scents now mingled together, combining and creating something totally new and so terribly inviting.
Slowly, he let his tongue move down her stomach, swirling around her belly button, closer and closer to the soft, trimmed patch of hair below. He reveled in her cries as he rubbed his cheek against it, watching as she almost tore the shirt apart with her hands. Her hips moved, thrusting upwards, trying with all her might to force his mouth to taste her.
When he finally did, she tasted like sweet heaven.
“Yes!” She screamed, finally unable to keep her hands away from him. She threaded her fingers in his hair, holding him to her as she felt his tongue move up and down her folds, flicking feathery strokes across her very sensitive nub. She knew there would be no way she could hold out long, not if he kept up what he was doing.
She was no virgin by any stretch of the imagination, but not terribly knowledgeable in the ways of sex until she’d met David. He was an experienced lover from the word go and he taught her a lot about herself and what she desired. How she pleased and how she wanted to be pleased. He’d been the best lover she’d ever had.
Until now.
David had sex with her body, testing and exploring what she liked and disliked. Erik was already making love to her body and mind, already knowing what pleased her and taking it to new heights before he ever took her. She’d never thought there was a difference. How wrong she was.
“Oooo….” Her body shook as she slammed her fists into the bed. So close…so….
…then he stopped.
And she thought she would die.
“Erik!” she cried out but he was already licking slowly back up her body. Then, before she could take another breath, he threw her legs around his waist and entered her.
“I…could not hold out another second…” he panted against her as his body took over once again and began moving inside her, “your cries of pleasure, they were too much…”
She gripped his hair, looked into his eyes and smirked, “So, that means I win…”
He snarled with a smirk of his own, “It is not over yet, my beauty.”
He turned over onto his back again and let her sit up, sinking even deeper inside her, to her delighted cries. He watched her closely as her eyes closed and, gripping his hands that were securing her hips, rocked herself against him. The look of pure pleasure that washed over her face was extraordinary. He merely laid in wait patiently, let her take all the time she required, no matter how long, for her to reach her own release. She needed it and he was going to see it.
But it didn’t take long. The combination of all her pent up sexual tension and Erik’s skilled tongue against her taut flesh